Raise your kids with manners, people!

I was having dinner with my mother in law and Jack tonight, and Jack was being... well... Jack! He was a little loud but nothing too bad. Suddenly this little mutant in the booth next to us pops his head up over the wall and says, "Shut up, stupid baby!" Then says, "I'm gonna fight that baby and throw his food away!" His mother did NOTHING! Are you kidding me?!?!

In light of these events, I have decided to dust off my soapbox for a moment. Please bear with me...

The Bible tells us, "Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it." (Proverbs 22:6) Most people see this as if you teach your child about God when they are young, even if they stray they will come back to Him. I definitely agree with that, but I see another side as well. If you teach a child to be ill mannered, disrespectful, and cruel, when they are old they will not depart from it. It will be a pattern that may continue for the rest of their lives.

One of the things that made me most upset tonight was not that the kid was being rude to my son, (Although, I'm not going to lie to you... you mess with my kids and Mama bear will come out with claws drawn!), it was that this child learned this from someone, most likely a parent. It's sad to think that this child is in a place where he hears things like "stupid, shut up, and I'm going to fight you." If this doesn't change, this boy may be a resident of one of our jails in the future, or a resident in one of our cemeteries sooner than he should be.

Hillary Clinton started this thing with "it takes a village to raise a child." Ummm... to quote someone from the Internet, "I've seen the village and I don't want it raising my children!"

Parenthood is a full-time job with benefits that you may not see for years. It is not for the faint of heart! My mom once told me that the reason we had issues in our relationship in the beginning was because she had no idea how to be a parent. She figured if she did nothing, she couldn't do anything wrong. It wasn't until she became a believer in Jesus that she saw the error in this. Through Bible study, prayer and encouragement from people in our congregation, Mom and I repaired our relationship. She learned how to raise me the right way. She was involved to the best of her ability and I am thankful everyday for the hard work she put in! 

So as I finish with my rant, just remember these words... It doesn't take a village to raise a child. It takes God-fearing, Bible believing parents!

It does, however, take a Viking to raze a village!

The Best Thing That Has Ever Happened to Me!

On October 22, 1994 I met the man of my dreams. We met at an Out of the Grey concert that both of us happened to be working. He was doing stage crew and I was working the World Vision table. Now when I first saw him I didn't think anything. He really wasn't my type. Besides, he introduced himself to my 2 beautiful blond friends first, then he got to me. But then the most amazing thing happened... I asked him where the water fountain was and he told me to wait a minute. He left and a minute or 2 later he came back with a cup of water for me. Wow! I don't think I'd ever seen a gentleman before that night. I was immediately interested.

Throughout the night we chatted and I found out so much about him. In my head I was checking off criteria from my "what to look for in a potential spouse" list.

(Side note... I had been praying for the man I was going to marry since I was 14 years old. Every night I prayed. I was 4 days away from my 23rd birthday when I met JR.)

By the end of the night I knew I was going to marry him. But I wouldn't make any first moves. Before I left he had asked for my phone number. We exchanged numbers and my life has never been the same! We were engaged 3 months to the day after we met and were married 8 months after that.

Meeting and marrying my husband has been the greatest thing in my life. Second only to being saved! JR has been a source of healing from my past. His family has taken me in as one of their own and I love them. The first Christmas I spent with JR, we weren't engaged yet. His parents had only met me once. But there were presents under the tree for me from them!

Since today is my 17th anniversary, I wanted to take this opportunity to let everyone know how incredible my husband is and how blessed I have been for having him in my life. To quote Spiral Staircase, JR, "I love you more today then yesterday. But not as much as tomorrow!"

On May 13, 1993, I wrote this poem for my husband. I met him a year and a half later!

"Lord, I life up to you the man you've chosen for me. May your grace abound to him everyday.

May he be as bold as a lion, as gentle as a dove and always have his heart turned toward you.

May he love you the most, more than everything in the world. May he love you more then he'll love me.

May his heart be open to your call, his ears listening to your voice, his mind meditating on your word, and his lips always speaking the prayers of a warrior.

Give his heart a burden for the lost, and a desire to see all come to you.

Give him a compassion for those who and hurting, and a longing to see them set free.

May the fire of your spirit well up in his soul.

Breathe courage upon him so that he can preach your gospel.

Build in him a love for family, a playfulness best used with kids.

Give him a tender touch, a soothing voice, and a warm embrace.

Make him a covering, a protector, a comforter, a friend and a lover.

And in your perfect timing, may he come and find me."

A Eulogy for Mom

Shoshanah Yaffa Tulkin, or as I called her, Mom, was born in Bronx, New York on June 19, 1945. Her parents, David and Mae were excited to have a baby girl. I never found out how big brother, Steve felt about her arrival! When she was 6 months old, the family moved to Prince George’s County, Maryland, eventually moving to a house on Hannon Street in Hyattsville. That is where she grew up.

She told me many stories from her childhood. She and Uncle Steve used to share a room when they were very young. Mom told me that she used to entertain Steve at night by making shadow puppets with her feet on the wall. Mom and Steve’s parents were Russian and spoke Yiddish all the time in the house, especially when they didn’t want the kids to know what they were talking about. To combat that, Mom and Steve learned Spanish in school so they could talk to each other and their parents would have no idea what they were saying.

Mom always had a talent for writing. She told me she once wrote a poem (under a pseudonym, of course) and sent it to President Kennedy. Her pseudonym received a lovely letter back. Mom loved to read, enjoyed memorizing Shakespeare (because she wanted to, not because it was required), wrote poetry and several novels which were unfortunately never published. Mom always had new characters roaming around in her head. I told her she needed a traffic cop up there!

During the Vietnam War, Mom volunteered at the USO as a Junior Hostess. She loved to entertain! She played guitar and sang to the “boys in uniform.” She used to tell me stories about it all the time. One in particular I remember was a song and dance number she did with another person called “Me and my Teddy Bear.” She said there was a line of teddy bears starting from smallest to largest and then the biggest one was her dressed as a bear. Her friend would walk down the line picking up each bear until she got to mom and they would do a little dance number at that point in the song. One time she slipped and fell and received a standing ovation from all the soldiers in the room. Gathering her wits and stuffing back her pride, she stood and took a bow!

It was during her time at the USO that she met a handsome, young sailor named Robert Shimer, or as I call him, Dad. She said he was so cute in his sailor suit. When Dad deployed to Vietnam she wrote to him all the time. They fell in love thousands of miles apart from each other. They were married a just a few months after Dad’s return from the war, and although their marriage didn’t last, something good came out of it. A baby girl named Laura Pauline, or as I call her, me.

My parents separated when I was 5 and I lived a short time with Dad, eventually ending up with Mom. The beginnings of our relationship were difficult. Mom admitted later that she didn’t know how to be a parent and figured if she did nothing, she couldn’t do anything wrong. She soon realized that that was not working for us. It was a challenge.

Things started improving in 1980 when Mom made the greatest decision of her life! She accepted Yeshua (Jesus). As she grew in her love for her Savior and learned more and more about her Jewish heritage and how well it meshed with her new found faith in Yeshua and through the encouragement of the people at Beth Messiah, Mom and I began to grow a bit closer. There are so many people from back in the day that meant a lot to my Mom, way too many to mention. You know who you are though!!

Mom’s life in Yeshua was so good for her! She did a lot of really neat things. One summer we spent a week at Inner Harbor, Baltimore doing street witnessing. Mom was there in her mime makeup introducing everyone who walked by to her faith in Yeshua through skits and chats! Mom also got a chance to show off her writing skills and her awful punny sense of humor (one I tried to avoid inheriting but really there was no chance of that), by writing a Purim play for the congregation’s annual Purim Festival. The play, called “Estee Lauder and the Salad Bar of Susa,” was written after Mom and her friend, Michael, spent hours at a local fast food restaurant coming up with character names and story lines. Characters like Estee Lauder, Mortifries, Ham & Cheese and King Burgersuerus made the crowd groan and laugh at the same time!  

In 1984, Mom got an amazing opportunity. She was dancing with the Israel’s Hope dancers and they were going to Israel. Wow! Mom got to dance in Jerusalem! She got to see the beautiful sights and walk where Yeshua walked. She always looked back on that trip fondly and wanted to one day return. I used to dance with Israel’s Hope too. When they travelled to do concerts, the dancers would usually travel with them. I remember one time specifically that Mom and I were the only dancers. We had so many people tell us how beautiful it was to see a mother and daughter dance in praise to the Lord together!

Mom made her living as a graphic designer, editor and copy writer. She used to say, “I want to write fiction, but writing junk mail is as close as I can get right now.” Her sense of humor was always present, especially in the work place. Once, while she was editing, she had to correct the spelling of a word. They had put an extra “I” in there. She took her exact-o knife, cut out the letter and went to talk to her boss. She placed it on his desk and said, “I’m keeping an “I” on you!” It’s OK… you can groan.

As I mentioned before, Mom and I had a tough time of things when I was growing up. But in 1991, something incredible happened… I moved out and we became the best of friends! Mom had the tendency to be introverted, and I do not have that tendency. I know you are all shocked to hear that! When we were finally not under the same roof all the time, we had something to talk about. We went to dinner together and just enjoyed each other’s company.

In 1994, another great opportunity presented itself. Mom went on a mission trip to Kiev, Russia. She was so excited to see where our family came from and it was yet another chance for her to share the love of Yeshua with others. While she was there, she fell down an escalator. She was hurt enough to have to stay in bed for a few days, but thankfully no worse. And while she was laid up, she took advantage of the opportunity and witnessed to the doctor and nurse who were attending to her. Way to go, Mom!

Shortly after Mom came home from Russia, I introduced her to JR. I told her that he was a good man and that I was very taken with him. And he was a goy! Mom said she didn’t care about that. As long as he loved God and loved me he could be purple and be good in her book! So in 1995, Mom finally got her son and along with him, she was blessed (as am I) with the best in-laws you could ever ask for. The Hinkles took Mom into the fold as true family, loved her and embraced her like one of their own!

In 2002, Mom moved into her dear friend, Joyce’s basement. Joyce was Mom’s prayer partner and sister in the Lord. I was glad because it was good for Mom not to be alone.

Mom loved to knit. I know for a fact that there are a lot of babies with blankets made with love by my Mom. Mom taught me how to knit when I was a teenager and I have loved it so much.

Another activity Mom and I enjoyed was painting ceramics. We used to go up to the shop where I worked (after hours), pop a DVD into the player and paint the night away. Mom has painted challah plates, Kiddush cups, penguins and dragons. Many people have been recipients of her hand painted items.

In 1999, she became Bubbe to her first grandchild, Emily. And then 11 years after that, she was Bubbe again to her second grandchild, Jack. She was in the room when he was born! Mom said she was so glad Jack was a boy because she could tell everyone that Emily was her favorite granddaughter and Jack was her favorite grandson.

My Mom left a legacy! She instilled in me faith in Yeshua, a deep love for my Jewish heritage and showed me that with God’s help you can do anything. I believe that, too. After all, she raised me by herself and I know that couldn’t have been easy. I see my Mom in the faces of my kids. I know she loved them so very much.

Mom was the first person I called for everything. If my kids were driving me crazy, call Mom. If my husband was making me mental, call Mom. If I just needed someone to talk to, call Mom. She was my prayer warrior, my encourager and my best friend. I’m not too sure what I’m going to do without her but I know that with God’s help I will get through it!

A Christmas Miracle, 8 Days Early

After three miscarriages and a failed adoption attempt, we were very nervous about being pregnant again. So when we were faced with the reality that we could be losing our fourth child, our fear and anger came to the surface. My husband prayed. He told God, "All through my life as a Christian I knew You would come through for me..." Then he said the most brutally honest thing I have ever heard. "... until now. I don't believe You're going to come through for us." Then he added, "Prove me wrong!"


12 years ago today, God gave us our proof. Our beautiful daughter, Emily Caroline, was born, giving us the best early Christmas present we could have ever hoped for. My daughter is my miracle gift I begged God for, just like Hannah begged God for Samuel. Also like Hannah, I dedicated my child to God to use her as He saw fit. And He has definitely used her!


Emily is the most compassionate, caring girl I have ever met. She is a champion for the weak, a friend to everyone and forgives every wrong committed against her. God uses her daily to bring hugs and smiles to her teachers, her parents and especially her baby brother. She is a miracle and I remember that every time I look at her sweet face.


12 years old today. In Jewish tradition already a woman, but forever my baby girl. The scripture I held on to while I was pregnant with Emily and have remembered every time I look at her is 1 Samuel 1:27,  "I prayed for this child, and the LORD has granted me what I asked of him."


I love you, Emily Caroline! Happy Birthday!

It's Beginning to Look A Lot Like... BAH HUMBUG!

I've been sitting here thinking about the past year, trying to get into the Christmas spirit and all I can think is, "Man, I'm SO tired!" I wish there were such things as Christmas Elves, because I need some. It's 11 days til Christmas, I still need to mail my cards and put up my tree. The tree is a whole other issue. Now that we have the boy and all of his accouterments, I'm not sure where the tree will go. Maybe out on the front lawn! 


I think if it was snowing I could get into the spirit of things a little easier. No such luck though. You'd think being Jack's first Christmas that I'd be all "merry and bright." But nooooo. It's so unlike me. I LOVE Christmas! Way more than a little Jewish girl should! It's not the shopping... I'm already done with that for the most part. I've tried to listen to the major amounts of Christmas music I've downloaded on my iPhone. Not helping. I even got Jack's picture taken with Santa. (Which turned out amazingly cute, BTW.) What else can I do?? Sigh....


What is it about getting older that makes the holidays so hard to get into? Is it just that... getting older? I remember a time, not too horribly long ago, that I used to go to the card shop and pick out individual Christmas cards for everyone on my list. On the opposite end of that spectrum, last year was the first time in like 7 years I even mailed Christmas cards. Maybe I am a little disheartened by all the commercialization. Or maybe I'm just making excuses because I'd rather take a nap.


I really do LOVE Christmas. I love the lights, I love the snow (when we get it), I love the carols (what other time of the year do secular radio stations play songs about the birth of the Savior?), and I love the family time. I have the best family! My mom comes to visit, we head up to the in-laws for Christmas breakfast, we open presents (which I especially LOVE because my love language is gifts... go figure) and we generally just enjoy our time together. I'm looking forward to that this year, but until then I'm feeling a bit like the Grinch before his heart grew 3 sizes! I mean I'm not ready to go steal the Who's roast beast or anything, but you get the idea.


Obviously, I've got more work to do to get this merriment rolling. I suppose I will have to endure some more Carol of the Bells, and maybe even some Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas. Something needs to happen though, before my theme song for the season becomes I'm Gettin' Nuttin' for Christmas or You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch!

Shhhhh.... I'm Sleeping. (yet another blog entry from the past.)

Mmmmmm.... sleep. I love sleep. Really LOVE sleep. More than breathing, I think. Definitely more than eating. Probably not more than Dr. Pepper though.

Sleep is such a wonderful thing but unfortunately very illusive for me. I have lupus which leads to chronic insomnia which leads to chronic fatigue. The trifecta of sleeplessness. Believe me it sucks! One of the best things about my diagnosis though is that I have the doctor's permission to sleep... WHENEVER I CAN! YES! If only it were that simple.

I envy people who can fall asleep easily. My husband is like that. Since he was a child my husband has been an "on the go"person. Run, run, run until his head hit the pillow then... SNORE! My father-in-law loves to tell the story of when my husband was little the family was out at a motorcycle race and they were on the go all day! They went to dinner and as long as the band played, JR was wide awake.But as dad tells it as soon as the band stopped playing, JR fell asleep in his mashed potatoes! My loving husband is still like that! There have been nights in the past where my insomnia was so bad I was practically crying because I wanted to sleep so bad. Then I looked over at the love of my life and... I wanted to hit him with a pillow!! Really hard!

Our daughter is a lot like that too. She's a crazy girl and when she's really run down she hits the pillow and OUT! The only time she has trouble sleeping is when she's afraid she is going to miss out on something she thinks is way cool! Poor baby!

I am pretty sure that my brother-in-law is narcaleptic! The boy can sleep anywhere. He came over one night because he really wanted to talk to his brother. My husband was in the middle of something and asked Matt if he could wait a minute. So Matt sat down on the couch to wait and within 5 minutes he was OUT LIKE A LIGHT! And if that story isn't good enough here's another. Matt was in a band before and one time before a concert, his bandmates found him standing in a corner sound asleep! Gosh I'm jealous!

Why can't I sleep like that? I mean besides the medical conditions that I have. Why can't I just lie down and fall asleep? For some reason when the lights turn off, my brain turns on! Suddenly all I can do is think. I think about what I did today. I think about what I have to do tomorrow. What was the name of that song? Did I turn off the oven? Does the family have clean underwear for tomorrow? Where the heck did I leave that stupid pen?? UGH! It's annoying! The only thing that can turn off my brain is my sleep meds. Thanks be to God for creating scientists who invented sleep meds and for creating doctors who give them to sleep deprived patients!

You would think that with all this extra time I have in my day while I'm not sleeping that I would do something. At times I do. I have been known to clean the bathroom at 2 AM or even do the dishes at 5 AM. But most of the time I just lie in bed and hope for sleep. My reasoning for this is even though I'm not sleeping at least I'm still getting rest, right? HAHAHA!

I think this is why I love sleep so very much! One year my husband and daughter asked me what I wanted for Mother's Day. I told them that I wanted 24 hours of uninterrupted sleep! Well, it wasn't 24 hours, but they went out and stayed out all day and I slept until 4:30 PM. There is something amazing about falling into a warm comfy bed with crisp clean sheets, sliding under the covers and falling into a blissful sleep. It's something I look forward to every night. I can think of only one feeling that is better than that!

So just keep in mind the next time you call me and I don't answer my phone... I'm probably doing the thing I love the most... NO... not drinking a Dr. Pepper! Sleeping! Shhhhhh!!!

What Do I Want to be When I Grow Up? (another blog entry from days gone by.)

I have no idea what I want to be when I grow up. That's pretty sad considering I'm 37 years old. I have a lot of interests but I haven't figured out how to put them into a career. How many Pirate Archaeologist Crime Scene Investigator Photographers do you know?

I love listening to kids when they talk about what they want to be when they grow up. For instance when I was in third grade I wrote a story about how I wanted to be a taxi cab driver when I grew up so I could drive people home who were too drunk to drive themselves. Typically I hear kids saying that when they grow up they want to be a doctor, a veterinarian, a writer, a ballerina or a race car driver or something grand like that. My daughter wants to be a rock star, a missionary, an artist and an astronaut. She's only 8 so I guess we have time to see where life takes her. Other than the taxi cab driver, I wanted to be an actress, a nuclear physicist, a seismologist and a mommy. One out of five isn't too bad, right?

I have had a lot of jobs in the past. I have been a children's clothing sales person, a receptionist, a waitress, an assistant manager at a movie theater, a nanny, and a clerk at a bookstore. I have worked at a paint your own pottery studio, I have been a kid's fitness teacher, a drama teacher and I've dressed up as a bear to entertain kids. I also ran my own Pampered Chef business for 7 years. Lately I have been wondering if "Webkinz Afficionado" can be considered a career.

So why is it so difficult to figure out what I want to do? Maybe it's because I'm very picky. I'm sure the perfect job is out there somewhere. And I have very valid reasons for not pursuing my childhood career ideas. Taxi cab driver-- I'm germaphobic and I have no sense of direction, actress-- I have morals, nuclear physicist-- I barely passed geometry and never took higher science and seismologist-- I am pretty sure the reasons for not being a nuclear physicist apply here too. Ahh, well. What are you going to do?

Maybe I could follow in my parents footsteps. Let's see... when I was a kid, my dad did landscaping. Later he did security work. Actually I think he still does security work but he is anxious for retirement! You go Dad! Live the life of leisure! Mom is an ad designer. She used to write ads. Mom used to say she wanted to write fiction so she got into advertising. She's also an unpublished author. Her father wanted to be a poet. I have this great picture of him looking very poetic with his flannel jacket and pipe. He went on to start the first catalog jewelry business in Washington D.C. Funny where life takes you!

Maybe it's just the paycheck I miss, and not the job. Stay-at-home moms don't "rake in the dough!"

With all of this being said, I realize I have the best job in the world. Wife and mother. I have the greatest husband in the world and a fantastic daughter! I'm a stay-at-home mom. Stay-at-home mom... YEAH RIGHT! Wait... I actually did become a taxi cab driver! I just realized that! I drive my daughter to and from school and I drive another kid afterschool too! I am a trash man (woman), a warden, a janitor, a laundress, a doctor, a cook, a personal shopper, a CPA and I volunteer at my daughter's school sometimes. I say all of this not to pat myself on the back or get praise from others. I don't wake up every morning and celebrate my accomplishments. More likely than not I wake up in the morning and say, "Crap! Is it morning again?!" I'm not a very good housekeeper, but my family has food and clean clothes so I guess I'm not too bad! I have told my husband many times that if he wanted June Cleaver he married the wrong woman!

I need to learn to be content. That's what it is. I need to learn that what I have and what I do is more important than a major career. It says in Philippians 4:11, "... for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances." So I will continue to try to take that lesson from Paul to heart!