After three miscarriages and a failed adoption attempt, we were very nervous about being pregnant again. So when we were faced with the reality that we could be losing our fourth child, our fear and anger came to the surface. My husband prayed. He told God, "All through my life as a Christian I knew You would come through for me..." Then he said the most brutally honest thing I have ever heard. "... until now. I don't believe You're going to come through for us." Then he added, "Prove me wrong!"
12 years ago today, God gave us our proof. Our beautiful daughter, Emily Caroline, was born, giving us the best early Christmas present we could have ever hoped for. My daughter is my miracle gift I begged God for, just like Hannah begged God for Samuel. Also like Hannah, I dedicated my child to God to use her as He saw fit. And He has definitely used her!
Emily is the most compassionate, caring girl I have ever met. She is a champion for the weak, a friend to everyone and forgives every wrong committed against her. God uses her daily to bring hugs and smiles to her teachers, her parents and especially her baby brother. She is a miracle and I remember that every time I look at her sweet face.
12 years old today. In Jewish tradition already a woman, but forever my baby girl. The scripture I held on to while I was pregnant with Emily and have remembered every time I look at her is 1 Samuel 1:27, "I prayed for this child, and the LORD has granted me what I asked of him."
I love you, Emily Caroline! Happy Birthday!
Saturday, December 17, 2011
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
It's Beginning to Look A Lot Like... BAH HUMBUG!
I've been sitting here thinking about the past year, trying to get into the Christmas spirit and all I can think is, "Man, I'm SO tired!" I wish there were such things as Christmas Elves, because I need some. It's 11 days til Christmas, I still need to mail my cards and put up my tree. The tree is a whole other issue. Now that we have the boy and all of his accouterments, I'm not sure where the tree will go. Maybe out on the front lawn!
I think if it was snowing I could get into the spirit of things a little easier. No such luck though. You'd think being Jack's first Christmas that I'd be all "merry and bright." But nooooo. It's so unlike me. I LOVE Christmas! Way more than a little Jewish girl should! It's not the shopping... I'm already done with that for the most part. I've tried to listen to the major amounts of Christmas music I've downloaded on my iPhone. Not helping. I even got Jack's picture taken with Santa. (Which turned out amazingly cute, BTW.) What else can I do?? Sigh....
What is it about getting older that makes the holidays so hard to get into? Is it just that... getting older? I remember a time, not too horribly long ago, that I used to go to the card shop and pick out individual Christmas cards for everyone on my list. On the opposite end of that spectrum, last year was the first time in like 7 years I even mailed Christmas cards. Maybe I am a little disheartened by all the commercialization. Or maybe I'm just making excuses because I'd rather take a nap.
I really do LOVE Christmas. I love the lights, I love the snow (when we get it), I love the carols (what other time of the year do secular radio stations play songs about the birth of the Savior?), and I love the family time. I have the best family! My mom comes to visit, we head up to the in-laws for Christmas breakfast, we open presents (which I especially LOVE because my love language is gifts... go figure) and we generally just enjoy our time together. I'm looking forward to that this year, but until then I'm feeling a bit like the Grinch before his heart grew 3 sizes! I mean I'm not ready to go steal the Who's roast beast or anything, but you get the idea.
Obviously, I've got more work to do to get this merriment rolling. I suppose I will have to endure some more Carol of the Bells, and maybe even some Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas. Something needs to happen though, before my theme song for the season becomes I'm Gettin' Nuttin' for Christmas or You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch!
I think if it was snowing I could get into the spirit of things a little easier. No such luck though. You'd think being Jack's first Christmas that I'd be all "merry and bright." But nooooo. It's so unlike me. I LOVE Christmas! Way more than a little Jewish girl should! It's not the shopping... I'm already done with that for the most part. I've tried to listen to the major amounts of Christmas music I've downloaded on my iPhone. Not helping. I even got Jack's picture taken with Santa. (Which turned out amazingly cute, BTW.) What else can I do?? Sigh....
What is it about getting older that makes the holidays so hard to get into? Is it just that... getting older? I remember a time, not too horribly long ago, that I used to go to the card shop and pick out individual Christmas cards for everyone on my list. On the opposite end of that spectrum, last year was the first time in like 7 years I even mailed Christmas cards. Maybe I am a little disheartened by all the commercialization. Or maybe I'm just making excuses because I'd rather take a nap.
I really do LOVE Christmas. I love the lights, I love the snow (when we get it), I love the carols (what other time of the year do secular radio stations play songs about the birth of the Savior?), and I love the family time. I have the best family! My mom comes to visit, we head up to the in-laws for Christmas breakfast, we open presents (which I especially LOVE because my love language is gifts... go figure) and we generally just enjoy our time together. I'm looking forward to that this year, but until then I'm feeling a bit like the Grinch before his heart grew 3 sizes! I mean I'm not ready to go steal the Who's roast beast or anything, but you get the idea.
Obviously, I've got more work to do to get this merriment rolling. I suppose I will have to endure some more Carol of the Bells, and maybe even some Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas. Something needs to happen though, before my theme song for the season becomes I'm Gettin' Nuttin' for Christmas or You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch!
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