A Eulogy for Mom

Shoshanah Yaffa Tulkin, or as I called her, Mom, was born in Bronx, New York on June 19, 1945. Her parents, David and Mae were excited to have a baby girl. I never found out how big brother, Steve felt about her arrival! When she was 6 months old, the family moved to Prince George’s County, Maryland, eventually moving to a house on Hannon Street in Hyattsville. That is where she grew up.

She told me many stories from her childhood. She and Uncle Steve used to share a room when they were very young. Mom told me that she used to entertain Steve at night by making shadow puppets with her feet on the wall. Mom and Steve’s parents were Russian and spoke Yiddish all the time in the house, especially when they didn’t want the kids to know what they were talking about. To combat that, Mom and Steve learned Spanish in school so they could talk to each other and their parents would have no idea what they were saying.

Mom always had a talent for writing. She told me she once wrote a poem (under a pseudonym, of course) and sent it to President Kennedy. Her pseudonym received a lovely letter back. Mom loved to read, enjoyed memorizing Shakespeare (because she wanted to, not because it was required), wrote poetry and several novels which were unfortunately never published. Mom always had new characters roaming around in her head. I told her she needed a traffic cop up there!

During the Vietnam War, Mom volunteered at the USO as a Junior Hostess. She loved to entertain! She played guitar and sang to the “boys in uniform.” She used to tell me stories about it all the time. One in particular I remember was a song and dance number she did with another person called “Me and my Teddy Bear.” She said there was a line of teddy bears starting from smallest to largest and then the biggest one was her dressed as a bear. Her friend would walk down the line picking up each bear until she got to mom and they would do a little dance number at that point in the song. One time she slipped and fell and received a standing ovation from all the soldiers in the room. Gathering her wits and stuffing back her pride, she stood and took a bow!

It was during her time at the USO that she met a handsome, young sailor named Robert Shimer, or as I call him, Dad. She said he was so cute in his sailor suit. When Dad deployed to Vietnam she wrote to him all the time. They fell in love thousands of miles apart from each other. They were married a just a few months after Dad’s return from the war, and although their marriage didn’t last, something good came out of it. A baby girl named Laura Pauline, or as I call her, me.

My parents separated when I was 5 and I lived a short time with Dad, eventually ending up with Mom. The beginnings of our relationship were difficult. Mom admitted later that she didn’t know how to be a parent and figured if she did nothing, she couldn’t do anything wrong. She soon realized that that was not working for us. It was a challenge.

Things started improving in 1980 when Mom made the greatest decision of her life! She accepted Yeshua (Jesus). As she grew in her love for her Savior and learned more and more about her Jewish heritage and how well it meshed with her new found faith in Yeshua and through the encouragement of the people at Beth Messiah, Mom and I began to grow a bit closer. There are so many people from back in the day that meant a lot to my Mom, way too many to mention. You know who you are though!!

Mom’s life in Yeshua was so good for her! She did a lot of really neat things. One summer we spent a week at Inner Harbor, Baltimore doing street witnessing. Mom was there in her mime makeup introducing everyone who walked by to her faith in Yeshua through skits and chats! Mom also got a chance to show off her writing skills and her awful punny sense of humor (one I tried to avoid inheriting but really there was no chance of that), by writing a Purim play for the congregation’s annual Purim Festival. The play, called “Estee Lauder and the Salad Bar of Susa,” was written after Mom and her friend, Michael, spent hours at a local fast food restaurant coming up with character names and story lines. Characters like Estee Lauder, Mortifries, Ham & Cheese and King Burgersuerus made the crowd groan and laugh at the same time!  

In 1984, Mom got an amazing opportunity. She was dancing with the Israel’s Hope dancers and they were going to Israel. Wow! Mom got to dance in Jerusalem! She got to see the beautiful sights and walk where Yeshua walked. She always looked back on that trip fondly and wanted to one day return. I used to dance with Israel’s Hope too. When they travelled to do concerts, the dancers would usually travel with them. I remember one time specifically that Mom and I were the only dancers. We had so many people tell us how beautiful it was to see a mother and daughter dance in praise to the Lord together!

Mom made her living as a graphic designer, editor and copy writer. She used to say, “I want to write fiction, but writing junk mail is as close as I can get right now.” Her sense of humor was always present, especially in the work place. Once, while she was editing, she had to correct the spelling of a word. They had put an extra “I” in there. She took her exact-o knife, cut out the letter and went to talk to her boss. She placed it on his desk and said, “I’m keeping an “I” on you!” It’s OK… you can groan.

As I mentioned before, Mom and I had a tough time of things when I was growing up. But in 1991, something incredible happened… I moved out and we became the best of friends! Mom had the tendency to be introverted, and I do not have that tendency. I know you are all shocked to hear that! When we were finally not under the same roof all the time, we had something to talk about. We went to dinner together and just enjoyed each other’s company.

In 1994, another great opportunity presented itself. Mom went on a mission trip to Kiev, Russia. She was so excited to see where our family came from and it was yet another chance for her to share the love of Yeshua with others. While she was there, she fell down an escalator. She was hurt enough to have to stay in bed for a few days, but thankfully no worse. And while she was laid up, she took advantage of the opportunity and witnessed to the doctor and nurse who were attending to her. Way to go, Mom!

Shortly after Mom came home from Russia, I introduced her to JR. I told her that he was a good man and that I was very taken with him. And he was a goy! Mom said she didn’t care about that. As long as he loved God and loved me he could be purple and be good in her book! So in 1995, Mom finally got her son and along with him, she was blessed (as am I) with the best in-laws you could ever ask for. The Hinkles took Mom into the fold as true family, loved her and embraced her like one of their own!

In 2002, Mom moved into her dear friend, Joyce’s basement. Joyce was Mom’s prayer partner and sister in the Lord. I was glad because it was good for Mom not to be alone.

Mom loved to knit. I know for a fact that there are a lot of babies with blankets made with love by my Mom. Mom taught me how to knit when I was a teenager and I have loved it so much.

Another activity Mom and I enjoyed was painting ceramics. We used to go up to the shop where I worked (after hours), pop a DVD into the player and paint the night away. Mom has painted challah plates, Kiddush cups, penguins and dragons. Many people have been recipients of her hand painted items.

In 1999, she became Bubbe to her first grandchild, Emily. And then 11 years after that, she was Bubbe again to her second grandchild, Jack. She was in the room when he was born! Mom said she was so glad Jack was a boy because she could tell everyone that Emily was her favorite granddaughter and Jack was her favorite grandson.

My Mom left a legacy! She instilled in me faith in Yeshua, a deep love for my Jewish heritage and showed me that with God’s help you can do anything. I believe that, too. After all, she raised me by herself and I know that couldn’t have been easy. I see my Mom in the faces of my kids. I know she loved them so very much.

Mom was the first person I called for everything. If my kids were driving me crazy, call Mom. If my husband was making me mental, call Mom. If I just needed someone to talk to, call Mom. She was my prayer warrior, my encourager and my best friend. I’m not too sure what I’m going to do without her but I know that with God’s help I will get through it!